A few quotes and sayings that we found around while browsing, to add to a few already posted further down... Some are funny, some are really deep and a few that everyone of us can relate to

• The two rules for success in life are:
  1) Never tell them everything you know.
  
  
• Teamwork is essential. It lets you blame someone else. -Anonymous
  
  
• Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
  
  
• If all goes well, you've overlooked something!
  
  
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
  
  
• We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
  
  
• Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
  
  
• Everything you see is blocking your sight...
  
  
• Warning: Problem accessing FAT system. Want to try the SKINNY one? Repeat Abort
  
  
• Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
  
  
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
  
  
• If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
  
  
• Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
  
  
• It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
  
  
• Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
  
  
• Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
  
  
• Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
  
  
• Oh Lord, give me patience...and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
  
  
• C:EARTH is 98% full. Please delete anybody you can
  
  
• A dirty book is rarely dusty.
  
  
• Life would be easier if I had the source code.
  
  
• Common sense isn't.
  
  
• But what if I'm a figment of my OWN imagination?
  
  
• Junk: stuff we throw away.Stuff: junk we keep.
  
  
• Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
  
  
• There's an exception to every rule, except this one.
  
  
• I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.
  
  
• If you can't convince them, confuse them.
  
  
• I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
  
  
• Black holes are where God divided by zero.
  
  
• Smoking is a leading cause of statistics.
  
  
• A Smith & Wesson beats 4 Aces!
  
  
• Todays subliminal message is " "
  
  
• This quote is SHAREWARE! To Register, send me $10.
  
  
• Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  
  
• If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
  
  
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
  
  
• Department of Redundancy Department
  
  
• As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
  
  
• ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
  
  
• Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
  
  
• Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
  
  
• Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to continue ...
  
  
• Born free; taxed to death.
  
  
• All computers wait at the same speed.
  
  
• All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
  
  
• Ever notice how fast Windows95 runs? Neither did I.
  
  
• Def: Real life; The thing you do between down-loads.
  
  
• Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
  
  
• RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
  
  
• The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
  
  
• Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
  
  
• ...Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
  
  
• Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
  
  
• Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
  
  
• The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
  
  
• Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
  
  
• Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
  
  
• Rehab is for quitters.
  
  
• I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
  
  
• I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
  
  
• I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
  
  
• If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0
  
  
• I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
  
  
• I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
  
  
• Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
  
  
• I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every waking minute of it.
  
  
• I plan to live forever or die trying.
  
  
• "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
  
  
• 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
  
  
• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...
  
  
• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
  
  
• Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
  
  
• War doesn't determine who is right, just who is left.
  
  
• Nobody goes there anymore--it's too crowded.
  
  
• I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
  
  
• Wisdom is realizing how little you know.
  
  
• Never trust a skinny cook.
  
  
• The best compression around: del *.*
  
  
• Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
  
  
• Only dead fish go with the current.
  
  
• A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
  
  
• On the other hand, the early worm gets eaten.
  
  
• People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
  
  
• Reality is an illusion created by alcoholic deficiency.
  
  
• A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
  
  
• There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.
  
  
• If you don't know where you're going, you're never lost.
  
  
• Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  
  
• Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
  
  

Have any nice or interesting sayings you would like to add? Feel free to add all bellow as comments !